My Chinese-but-not-really friend Pearl sent me to an online mag called Denizen. It's about Third Culture Kids, of which I'm one; i.e. my Canadian parents raised me in Saudi Arabia, so culturally I'm not Canadian (toque? what?), but I'm certainly not Saudi (hello, male friends). I don't say "eh" but I don't speak Arabic (all those years, such an opportunity, I know).
Like most Third Culture Kids, I thank my parents for showing me the world and forgive them for denying me an identity bathed in nationality. Screw nationality. Screw nationalism. I'm a denizen, citizen of the world. Which brings me back to the magazine, just in its infancy. If it works out, it's because we expatriates love to talk about ourselves (see blog title). No one else cares that we that we know flight routes better than highway routes, international dialing codes better than national holidays (I still don't know Canada Day). In some ways, this internationalism is as bad as any nationalism. We wave no flag, but we still do us-them. For example, if you say "What the hell is sangria doing at a Turkish restaurant? Where's the ayran?" then I will say, "I know you. We have more to talk about than Arrested Development." Order the sangria and be judged.
Third Culture Kids are both enlightened and screwed. Enlightened because history chose us to inherit all the benefits of an increasingly globalized world, and we know it--we know how to move for work, how to adapt to the new grocery store and the new dress code, how to book flights on points before KLM changes the policy and tries to fuck us yet again, how to learn just enough of the local language to feel "in" and buy pirated DVDs, how to make alcohol if necessary, how to stand in all kinds of lines (straight, mob, elbows-up, etc.). We had Skype first. We have friends in all the right places (Beirut, Istanbul, London, LA, Dubai...)--
And screwed because we're nomadic parasites. I mean, if I actually had to live in Saudi--as in, live in a high-walled home with two sullen Indonesian maids, cover my head, and spend weekends with crusty in-laws--I would kill myself. The country on the passport's no better. I tried Canada, gave it a shot, and left within 6 months. Taxes? Commuting? Cold? $4 loaves of bread? No thanks.
So we live abroad without immersing ourselves, submitting our thoughts to places like Denizen. Or blogging. Apologies for the self-consciousness. Last night I finished A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius and Dave Eggers is still with me.
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ReplyDeleteThat's awesome that there's a magazine about this. Do you think it looks like a promising publication?
ReplyDeleteI can't say I can relate entirely, because I've only lived out of the US for 3 months. I am not a Third Culture Kid and don't want to try to identify with that group inappropriately. I do think I've experienced some of these things on a smaller level, though. I never know where to tell people that I'm from -- California? Lived there from ages 0-6 and 14-18. Kansas? 6-14, and summers from 14-22. Minnesota is where I went to college, Glasgow is the city I've loved more than any other but only lived in for 3 months, and Wisconsin is where I live now. I'm surrounded by people who have simple stories - like my boyfriend, who was born here, went to college here, and would be perfectly content living here forever. For me, the idea of staying *anywhere* forever sounds like submitting to a dull and stagnant life, even though I like the idea of belonging somewhere. Lately the latter notion has been getting stronger in my mind, and I sort of hope it will stay that way. I would like to have a true home.
You just haven't found the write place to call home. Yet.
ReplyDeleteAnd you need to read 'The Elegance of the Hedgehog" ASAP. Like, now, so I can talk to you about it. And by talk I mean verbally masturbate over it.
LOVE this post Mary! I'm looking forward to exploring Denizen. I 100% relate to everything you said. I continually seek out information on third culture kids. A female ex-Aramacon studied it thoroughly and wrote some stuff on it that I like. My husband, two dogs, and I are moving to Costa Rica in the fall...maybe we'll try to live in Saudi for a few years after...Here's to your exploration!
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